The Way We Feel
by MCMLXXVIII
Summary: She knocks, shifting anxiously on her feet as she waits for him to open the door. It's ridiculous that she's nervous. She's not a teenage girl asking her crush out for a date. It's not even a date. Well... it could be a date. If he wants it to be. If she wants it to be. She's pretty sure he'll be up to anything she asks of him. (Set mid-Season 4)


You won't find faith or hope down a telescope,

You won't find heart and soul in the stars.

You can break everything down to chemicals

but you can't explain a love like ours.

It's the way we feel, this is real.

- _Science and Faith_ , The Script

* * *

The idea came to her when they were out checking a possible lead. It was already dark by the time they finished interviewing their victim's next of kin and going through some of his personal belongings.

They were on their way to her car when Castle stopped in the middle of the driveway with his head up, looking at the sky.

 _"Quick, Beckett, make a wish." He gushed, reaching out a hand to stop her in her tracks._

 _She halted, tilting her chin up to see what he was talking about. She couldn't repress an eyeroll when she finally saw the cause of his excitement._

 _"That's an airplane, Castle." She commented dryly._

 _"So?" He argued, none of the enthusiasm dissipating from his eyes._

 _"So... You can't just wish upon an airplane. That's not how it works."_

 _He huffs, looking more like a defiant child than the grown man that he is. "Of course, you can! That's the closest thing to a shooting star you can see in New York City."_

 _"That's not true. You can see the really bright ones in some areas." She smirked before turning away to continue walking to her car. "Besides, if you don't know by now, you must have been less adventurous than I thought."_

 _"Oh, Beckett, you have no idea just how adventurous I could be." He leered before following her to the car._

 _She had to bite her lip to suppress her grin and doesn't dare look back lest he saw the flush that heated her cheeks._

That was almost 3 weeks ago. Now, she's standing in his front door at 8pm the night before her day off because she read about a meteor shower online and she still has a vivid memory of that night and the look of child-like excitement in his eyes.

She knocks, shifting anxiously on her feet as she waits for him to open the door. It's ridiculous that she's nervous. She's not a teenage girl asking her crush out for a date. It's not even a date.

Well... it could be a date. If he wants it to be. If _she_ wants it to be. She's pretty sure he'll be up to anything she asks of him.

She hears footsteps approaching and she already knows it's him because he mentioned earlier that his mother and daughter is on some trip together and he is home alone. The fluttering in her belly is now a full on drum parade, chaotic and deafening. She tries to swallow up the nerves and manages a small smile just as he opens the door.

"Beckett," He greets, a look that's a mixture of confusion and delight apparent in his face. "What are you doing here?"

She steps into his home in lieu of a response, taking in his appearance as she enters. He looks disheveled in his faded Batman t-shirt and his hair is sticking up in all places as if he had been running his hand through it all evening. She wonders briefly if he had been writing. And then tamps down the traitorous thought in her mind asking if his hair feels as smooth as they look. She clenches her hands and buries them in her jean pockets as if to physically restrain herself.

"Kate?"

She startles at the sound of her first name, remembering that he asked her a question. She gives him another once over before finally meeting his eyes. "You need to get dressed. I'll wait by the couch."

His eyes widen at her sudden request but doesn't question it. He only gives her a quick affirmative before he's runnning to his bedroom to change. She doesn't bother holding back her laugh when he hits his elbow on his shelves.

Beckett settles herself in the middle of his huge couch, grabbing one of the books on his coffee table while she waits.

* * *

She's halfway through scanning the pictures in one of his magazines when she realizes he's taking too long.

"Castle? You okay in there?" She calls out in the direction of his bedroom.

"Yeah!" Comes his muffled response.

"I just-" She looks up when she hears his voice nearing. "I actually don't know where we're going so, what should I wear?"

He asks it so causually and yet all breath leaves her lungs because he's standing by his office door _without_ a shirt on.

Her eyes roam his body for a bit, taking in the tight muscles in his chest usually hidden by the clothes he wears to the precinct. When she realizes what she's doing, she averts her eyes quickly only to find him smirking at her. He obviously caught her ogling and she braces herself for his teasing, pulls nervously at the sleeves of the beige sweater she's wearing.

Thankfully he doesn't comment on it, and just stands there with the shirt he recently took off in his hand.

"Just wear something warm." She manages to stammer out, cursing herself when her voice comes out gravelly.

He nods back at her, still smirking before he retreats back into his bedroom.

Kate lets out a breath she's been holding the moment he's gone. _This is not how she planned this evening to go._

He comes back out a few minutes later, dressed in a dark green sweater that clings to his body and somehow enhances the blue of his eyes. She waits by his door while he grabs his keys.

They walk to the elevator in peace but she can sense him squirming beside her. She knows he's trying to hold back asking her again where they're going. He's a curious mind, she knows. Always wants to know everything. But she also knows that he loves surprises. The indecision is probably killing him.

She bites her lip, contemplating if she should just tell him or if she should wait a while longer. She gotta admit, she has a hard time containing her own excitement, too.

When the elevator announces its arrival on the ground floor, she makes her decision.

Looking up to him, she finds him already staring back at her. She gives him a small smile and with a deep breath, she releases her words. "We're going stargazing."

The elevator doors open and she immediately walks out. But she doesn't miss the loud gasp he lets out and it gives her confidence, makes her drop the inhibitions that have been plaguing her since she came up with the idea. It makes her giddy in return. She gives his doorman a little wave, her smile already overtaking her features.

She hears Castle running up to her but she doesn't slow, opens up the glass doors of his building, somehow, still not ready to make him see just how happy he makes her. _He didn't even do anything yet._

He catches up to her in the sidewalk and they walk to her car in silence. Side by side, and both failing to hide their own radiating smiles. They're going stargazing.

* * *

He's fiddling with the car stereo and she's letting him. Well, she doesn't really have a choice because when he's not doing something, he's staring. Not outside the window but at her, and it's a little unnerving. A few minutes pass and finally he sets the radio on a station the plays jazz music and the smooth voice of Nina Simone fills the car.

Some more minutes later and she can feel him staring at her again. She takes a moment to glance at him and finds him grinning widely at her, his excitement apparent, along with the sparkle in his eyes. He's literally vibrating in his seat.

"Stop that." She chastises half-heartedly, despite her own smile escaping.

"Stop what?" He asks innocently, pretending to focus on the road ahead of him but also failing to hold back the upturn of his lips.

"That... Whatever it is you're doing– thinking." She explains waving a hand in his direction. "You're like bursting out of your skin."

He turns to her, now fully smiling, not bothering to hide his delight anymore and she can't help but mirror his expression with a huge smile of her own.

"We're stargazing, Beckett!" He exclaims. "We're literally rendezvousing in the night to look at the stars."

She can't stop the roll of her eyes. "It's not a rendezvous, it's just..." She pauses, choosing her words carefully. "Me taking you to see a meteor shower because I conveniently have the next day off."

He literally jumps in his seat. "Did you just say _meteor shower_?"

She chuckles, realizing her blunder. She forgot she haven't told him it's not just an ordinary night of stargazing yet. "Surprise?"

He laughs. "Oh my god. You really are the perfect woman."

She blushes at that, thankful for the shadows that hide the coloring of her cheeks from him.

"I just.." She explains shyly. "I remember you being excited about the shooting stars before and I read about this online when I came home today and I just thought it'd be a nice thing to do since you're home alone."

He reaches out a hand across the center console until it rests on her knee. She glances at him briefly and then into his hand, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, before she finally takes one hand off the steering wheel and links her hand with his.

They remained that way for a while, hands enclasped with each other as Kate follows the familiar path to their destination. They only let go when Kate has to maneuver up a small hill and needs the use of both hands.

"We're here." She announces as she parks the car beneath a tree.

Rick steps out of the car, grabbing the coat he remembered to bring from the backseat of her car. Kate follows him into the clearing as he stares up and admires the unhindered view of the sky.

"Wow." He sighs. "This is amazing."

"Yeah." She agrees. "I used to come here a lot with my parents when I didn't have school. My dad's cabin is just downhill."

He turns to her as she stands by his side, looking up at the stars with the same amount of awe.

"Do you still come here, after..." He starts but unable to finish his sentence.

"No." She looks back at him. "I've never been here since mom died."

Her chest tightens at the memory but then she feels his hand reaching for hers and the pain eases. She's still hurting, will forever mourn the loss of her mom but somehow having him by her side, his hand giving hers a comforting squeeze, it makes everything bearable.

"Thank you," He murmurs. "For sharing this place with me."

"Always." She smiles, squeezing his hand back. "Come on, lets get our stuff out of the trunk."

* * *

He brings the small picnic basket while she carries the blankets. She takes them further into the clearing and sets down their things beside a rock. He lays down one of the blankets for her and settles himself, leaning his back against the boulder. She laughs in amusement as he wriggles to leave a space for her beside him.

She smirks. _She has a better idea_. Kneeling down beside him, she nudges his feet apart before climbing over and nestles herself between his legs. She feels him stiffen a little for bit before finally relaxing when she leans her back against him.

"Hmm," She hums when she feels his arms wrap around her. "Much more comfortable than sitting against a rock."

He chuckles at that, his chest rumbling against her spine and it fills her with warmth and happiness that she never thought she'd find again after her mom's death, her shooting.

"So what time does this meteor shower start?" He asks, his voice soft as if he's afraid to ruin the moment.

She leans further into him, tilting her head up to look at the moonless sky. "We should see a few ones here and there by now but it doesn't peak until," She glances at her father's watch. "about an hour."

"Oh, look there's one!" He exclaims excitedly as if on cue, pointing up to a spot in the sky where she barely catches a glimpse of the celestial body before it burns out.

"Make a wish." She tells him, pulling back a little so she could see his eyes.

He meets her look with a small smile, the hand that still wraps around her rubbing soothingly against her arm.

"I think I got everything I could wish for right here." He murmurs it so softly, so reverently. And it's so sappy, cheesy, something they don't do. But he looks so serious when he says it, as if being with her is really all he could wish for and he takes her breath away for the second time that night.

"Rick," She stammers, speechless because what does she say to that? He's basically poured his heart out with those words and she's dizzy with joy, excitement, and with the ever present fear that what if she's not good enough for him?

He has waited almost four years for her, chased her, fought for her, maybe it's finally time to meet him halfway. She's still healing, recovering. She's still trying to make herself better for him, for _them_. And she still has those walls of brick and mortar that she's wrapped around her heart to protect it. The same walls he'd been tearing down ever since the day he came into her life, shaking it until the weaker pieces go crumbling down.

She must have been silent for too long because she can feel him already drawing back. He opens his mouth, probably to say something to make a joke out of it, turn it into something not serious and she realizes she's not having it. Maybe he can wait with her from within her walls.

She's on him before he gets a word out, sealing her lips against his, steals whatever explanation he's meant to give. She doesn't wanna hear it, doesn't want to continue running in circles with him. They've wasted enough time.

Her neck strains from her awkward angle but she ignores it, moves to part her mouth against the nudging of his tongue. A moan escapes from deep in her throat and she feels his grip around her tighten.

They only seperate when air becomes a necessity, their foreheads still touching, breaths mingling and she laughs. She laughs because that was _amazing_ and why the hell have they waited so long. But it's also perfect and worth all the wait and she's happy. She's really happy. Rick joins her, always knows what's going on inside her mind and they both cackle, basking in the joy of the moment. Maybe he'd been with her inside these walls the whole time.

She spins in his arms when their laughter subsides, still grinning ridiculously wide as she faces him and straddles his lap. She steals another kiss from his mouth because she _can,_ giggling when she catches his bottom lip between her teeth before soothing it with her tongue.

"That was so much more than I wished for." He chuckles when they part for the second time.

"Hmm, well there are more than one shooting star to wish upon tonight." She mumbles, looking up to the sky to see the streaks of light getting more frequent.

She startles when she feels his lips against her neck. A laugh that quickly turns into a moan escaping her lips.

"I did not bring you up here so we could make out under the stars, Rick." She chastises but then contradicts herself by capturing his mouth against hers.

"Please, we both know you brought me here so you could seduce me." He husks in between kisses and Kate huffs, pushing against his chest. _As if she could even move away._

Rick tightens his grip on her, pulls, and she comes willingly, kissing him again. Two kisses and she's already addicted. She couldn't get enough of him.

Locking her legs behind his back, she pushes herself flush againsts him, tangles her fingers against his hair.

"We can do both." She murmurs and he's cradling her head in one of his hands, angling her so he could deepen their kiss.

"Yeah, we can totally do that." He replies, moving the hand that's on her waist to tease against the hem of her sweater, inches it a little further to caress her skin.

They stay that way for a while, wrapped around each other, drinking each other in, the meteor shower – the actual purpose of their trip forgotten.

It wasn't until she shivers that they let go of each other. And Kate's not sure if it's because of the midnight breeze or the physical contact. It makes Rick chuckle anyway and he nudges her back into her earlier position with her back against his chest. He grabs the extra blanket she's brought and wraps it around their bodies.

"I have coffee in the canister inside the picnic basket." She suggests but doesn't move from her position. Too comfortable in his arms. She feels safe. Home.

He doesn't move either. Thankfully. And they just stayed there wrapped up in each other and watch in delight as more meteors light up as they enter the surface of the earth.

Everything feels so surreal – almost magical. If someone came up to her over the summer that just in a few months, she'd be perched on her favorite childhood spot, within Castle's arms and under the stars, she would've laughed at their faces.

They still have a lot to talk about. His three-word confession that he doesn't know she heard comes into mind. She'll tell him about it. Soon. For now, she lives in the moment and breathes in the rays of hope, like little meteorites, that enchant her heart.

* * *

 **FIN**


End file.
